Love Poems

Poems written about guys and my personal experiences in love.

55

Anything For You

For Ethan

There's nothing more I want than to be with you
I just want to see you in a mutual light
I'm at the point where, for you, anything I'd do
Just as long as you'd hold me through the night

© March 25, 2011


Can't Anymore

For Ben

Maybe I don't like you
But seeing you flirt with her
One of my best friends
It's just not cool, not at all
I won't lie, it kinda hurts
Jealousy is strong, sure
I won't deny that's true
But I don't understand
Why every guy loves her
Bt could care less 'bout me
I'm just done with this
I can't deal with you
I'm single-sidedly in love
And you're all into her
I just can't do it anymore

© March 31, 2011


Confused

For Ethan

I didn't think I liked him
Then I thought I did
Then we were just friends
Then we almost were more
I didn't think I liked him at all
Now I don't want to be without him
We're friends again now, and I'm happy
But do I want more? Or am I still confused?

© February 3, 2011


A Cry of Confusion

For Lazar

Why are you doing this to me?
I didn't want to fall in love with you
Didn't even want to open up to you
I'm mad at you for taking over me completely
I'm ashamed of myself for letting you
My relationship with her was a confusing one
I questioned it every day myself
But you had no right to storm into my life
And completely destroy what I had with her
I don't know who is to blame in that one
Me for letting you, or you for being there
Or her, for not being understanding about this
You weren't really understanding with me, either
Never giving me a chance to explain myself
You just had your own opinion, never an open mind
It was all about what you wanted and needed
You couldn't compromise, though you thought you did
What you asked for was just too much
I'm fragile, scared, innocent, broken
You took everything for granted
You broke me in half and left me to fend for myself
The thought of you would liven me up
I could get lost in the thoughts of us
I would read over everything you sent me
Feeling like I was half of something bigger
Half of the love we both shared
Half of something great and magical and special
That feeling sustained me, kept me going
It brought life to my darkened soul and pained heart
I should have known when she exposed you
Should have seen all the warning signs
As they flashed in my face and smacked my forehead
But I ignored them, took your words as truth
You told me to, and what could I do but believe
I did everything you told me to do
To the best of my ability, but it was never enough
You never understood what I went through
How hard it was to do what you asked, demanded
I went through hell, my heart and mind waged war
Fantasy and hope versus logic and reason
You took it all for granted, kept asking for more
Nothing was ever enough, even as you said it would be
I couldn't take it anymore, and you left
I'm beating myself up inside over you
And you don't care, couldn't care less
As if I was just dirt, and I was expected to obey you
The most emotionally abusive relationship I've been in
Is the one I'm dying to be back into now
You have me wrapped around your littlest finger
Your presence makes my heart smile
Your goodbyes saddened my soul
I worked my entire day and life around you
But you changed not a thing
How did I manage to make you my highest priority
Without making a dent in your list
I will never make sense of our relationship
Nor of my own actions in that length of time
I wasn't looking for anything serious, or anything at all
Just a conversation to distract me from work
Even as I tried to push you away and tell you no
You broke through my defenses and left me vulnerable
There's not much I know for sure about all this
Except that your memory will never fade from my heart
And your face will never fade from my mind

© October 28, 2012


Decisions

For Ethan and Ben

Even since last semester, I've loved you
Too annoyed to admit or acknowledge it
Hoping it'd go away, now hoping it's mutual
Now I don't know what to do...

Of course there's another guy I'm interested in
Ridiculous how life can't be so simple

Because he's everything I want in a guy...
Even down to the name I always imagined
Now I'm almost leaning towards you again

© March 29, 2011


Down

For Ethan

Everything
Tenderness
Hope
Acceptance
Nothing
Insecurity
Lust
Oblivion
Values
Equality
Yearning
Optimism
Uncontrollabitly

© March 23, 2011


Fantasy Versus Reality

For Ethan

Walk past you, grab your hat
Chase after me, try to get it
On my head, run into a closet
Darkness, push me against the wall
Pin my arms, glare at me
Reach my lips, place a kiss
Deepen it, shed clothes, closer
Irresistibility, passion, intensity
Exploration, understanding
Connection, depth, innocence
One moment, one purpose, one goal
Finished, ignore me, of course
Expect no less, wishing more
Everything lost, nothing gained
Love, not your thing
Me, not your type

© March 25, 2011


Flood Gates Open

For Lazar

Tears threaten my eyes, and it's harder to breathe
I'm lost in this sea of unfamiliarity
A single thought of you enters my fragile mind
And my will not to cry has been undermined

© February 18, 2013


For You

For Ethan

So many feelings, but no answers
What do you feel? Why?
What do I feel? How?
Impossible; not reciprocated
Why not? Ignorance, she says
Fate, I say
What do you say?
If you even have an opinion
Father, mother, parents
If that's true, say "I do"
If not, then what do I know
Four letters, a heartache waiting to happen
Lust or various emotions?
Too much going on my mind
Nothing for certain, all mysteries
So much unknown, deeper
And bluer than the sea
Does everything in life have a reason?
Or are we all chasing dreams
Like foolish ants, running around
Carrying things on our shoulders
Much too big for us, but
Necessary for life
Just waiting for someone, something
Bigger to step on us, ending misery
Nothing's for certain, I feel, except
You are you
And I am me
And for reasons I can't begin to explain
Who I am loves who you are

© March 23, 2011


A French-Mexican

For Daniel

I really hate him
He's the biggest ass I know
I keep dreaming
And he's there every night
Do I really hate him?
Or are my dreams speaking to me?

© July 8, 2010


Gone

For SAB

What do you do
When your last chance
To see the one you like
Is gone?

© June 15, 2010


He Is

For Vic

He was really sweet before
He was a cute little drummer
He was not the person I thought
He was hiding his darkness inside
He was what I wanted in a guy
He is not that guy any more

© December 3, 2010


Him

For Lazar

A dangerous creature
Sexy, demanding, massive
A liar, a player, a man
Tearing through my defenses
Why do I say yes?
Keep away from him
Say goodbye forever
Can't, though he's hurtful
Can't bear to lose him
Something draws me closer
He's a dangerous man
For whom I have fallen

© September 28, 2012


How Much Longer

Looking at the night sky
Do you see the same stars?
Passing people on streets
Might one be you? Know you?
Ticking minutes rush by
Which will be the one?
Past, present, or future
Has it already happened?
Been waiting so very long
How much longer now?

© November 13, 2012


I Hate It

For Ethan

These feelings for you are strong
And it's tearing me up inside
All the jealousy, sources everywhere
It's starting to hurt way too much
I'm praying that controlling my anger
Will gain your love and respect
But what if it doesn't? What will I do?
I need, so badly, for you to care for me
I'm broken inside and you're the only one
The only one who can give me strength
Just by giving me one simple hug...
Imagine what a sincere hug could do
Or a kiss... Or one night together...
I'll do anything to have these feelings
Returned to me with true sincerity
It's killing me... And I hate it. A lot.

© March 31, 2011


I Hate You

For Ben

How you flirt with her,
          I
Don't like it. I really
          hate
It. I don't know why. And
          you
Piss me off, drive me insane
          so
Much. It wasn't supposed to
          go
This way. I just wanna stay
          away
From you.

© April 1, 2011


I Miss You

For Ethan

I am sorry for what I've done
I know the words don't take back
All the times I've bitched you out
But you, I miss, and that's a fact
I was hurt, and you, confusing
You pulled me closer, but only for
All the comfort I actually needed
But at my heart your actions tore
You were the one that put the knife
Near my heart, ready for pain
He was the one that pushed it in
Only for... His sick gain
To try and make everything better
You tried to be there as a friend
But it didn't seem that way to me
And, thus, my heart, you didn't mend
I admit, I fucked it up
But I was hurt, and now I see
How much I like you, as a friend
But time has told so much to me
And I'm convinced I like you more
So now, with you, I long to be

© February 7, 2011


I Think

For Ethan

I think I love you
But maybe it's not true
With which hand do you write
What color are your eyes, in natural light
What are your dreams
What annoys you, your pet peeves
What color do you prefer
What's your favorite song for sure
Do you like dogs or cats
Do you want this or that
Where will you be in ten years
What are your deepest hidden fears
What in life matters most
Best place to live: inland or coast
How can you love who you don't know
I think I love you, but how is this so

© April 12, 2011


I Thought... Wrong (Part I)

For Ethan

I thought I hated him
I thought I had fucked it all up
I thought he'd never forgive me
I thought we'd never be friends
I thought it wouldn't be possible
I thought he'd ignore my messages
I thought he'd be madder than I was
I thought I'd mean nothing to him
I thought wrong

© February 3, 2011


I Thought... Right (Part II)

For Ethan

I thought we could be friends
I thought we'd be able to move past my mistake
I thought I'd still mean something, anything
I thought we could possibly be more
I thought I was wrong before
I thought the pain could be over
I thought right before, I fucked it up

© February 6, 2011


I'd Love You

For Ethan

Had a bad day?
I'd hug you, make it good
Feeling a bit lonely?
I'd kiss you, make you feel loved
Feeling a tad randy?
I'd touch you, make you want more
Had a good day?
I'd fuck you, make it even better

© April 12, 2011


I'm Done

For Vic and Ethan

I don't know what I was thinking
Did I really think I loved the first?
Did I really think I wanted the second?
I'm completely done with the second
The first is now just another person

© February 28, 2011


Insane

For Ethan

I'm at the end of my ability
To cope with this insanity
That's caused by giving the heart
To a guy who wanted no part
He led me on, then realized
How it seemed, through my eyes
He couldn't stop, no self-control
It's too late, it took its toll
Can't turn back, I'm in too deep
Don't try to help, the climb's too steep
I know, I'm stupid, foolish, sad
Holding on to what I never had
My heart is broken, so much pain
If I can't be his, I'll go insane

© May 3, 2011


It's Hard

For Ethan

It's hard to move on
Even when it's time
When the one you love
Should be left in the past

We never had anything
But there some were moments
And in those short times
I had fallen in love

I'm broken inside
I just want to be hisv Though everyone says
He doesn't deserve me

I could easily have
A guy who respects me
But in light of an offer
I break down and cry
It's hard to move on
When he has your heart,
You don't want it back,
And you only want him

© May 1, 2011


Je T'aime I Love You

For Ethan

I can't take it
These feelings
Je t'aime
But it's not mutual
They say to move on
But love is unconditional,
Uncontrollable, unpredictable
It doesn't seem fair
But such is life
Je t'aime
Please... Love me
Hold me, kiss me
Scoop me up in your
Arms, let me know
I'm alive, and all for you
You're alive, and all for me
Love me, like
Je t'aime
You're nothing I want
But everything I need
If quotes are true
We're meant to be
I can't imagine life
Without you
Can't image losing
Someone like you
Can't imagine hearing
Those words from you
But still, of course
Je t'aime

© March 23, 2011


Just Can't See

For Ethan

Sucking the life out of me
Deep inside, much jealousy
You're dangerous to my sanity
Just be gone and set me free
But I still think we can be
I want ya more than ya see
If we don't end up finally,
It might just be the death of me
I believe we're meant to be
But you, my dear, just can't see

© April 9, 2011


Just a Friend

For Ethan

Your smile, so beautiful
So sincere, your eyes sparkle
Showing off their brown shine
Amazing eyes, your wall
Hiding all your emotions
Masking how you really feel
Your laugh, so happy, carefree
Like bells ringing, consuming
Feels warm and makes me smile
Complimenting your voice
The only sound I long to hear
I'm in a room, full of strangers
I simply hear your voice
And perk up, feeling safe
The touch of your hand
As it holds my wrist
Simply fooling around
Like two friends, only friends
Being near you, next to you
I feel invincible, secure
Nothing can hurt me, touch me
I hear your name, butterflies
You are my world, love, everything
I am a friend, just a friend

© March 24, 2011


Letters

Loneliness, oppressive, venomous, emptiness
Inhospitable, stupid
Weakening, otiose, retarded, trifling, harmful, libelous, erosive, soul-destroying, stabbing

© March 25, 2011


Life Without You

For Vic

I don't really know you all that well
But there's something about you
Something I can't get off my mind
I really like you, maybe even more
And I know you like me, you told me
You don't want a relationship, though
You've only got six more months here
But that's enough time in my eyes
To see if it's worth the try forever
Or if this is just a little crush magnified
You broke my heart when you said no
I have never cried over a guy before
Let me tell you, it's not fun at all
But you're still on my mind, always
I don't know what will happen to us
But I'd really like to try an "us"
Because I can't imagine life without you

© November 26, 2010


Losing Control

For Ethan

Is it wrong to want bad things?
I want him in my life
But he doesn't want me
Does he still want FWB?
Is it wrong of me to ask?
Asking would mean no self-respect
But I'd chose him over respect
I want him in my life
So if he wants FWB
Then I guess that's the only way
Is that wrong? Sick? Twisted?
I know I'm fucked up, real bad
But when it comes to him...
I can't help myself, I lose control

© February 6, 2011


Love

One word, four letters, one syllable
But a million different possibilities
How much power can this word hold?
Everyone wants to hear it, feel it, share it
Such a scary thought, but so magical
Does it have as much power as you give it?
Or does it hold its own, unlimited power?
Can it make you do anything and everything?
Can it be blamed for crazy things you do?
Or is it your fault for giving love the power?

© October 12, 2012


Mixed Emotions

For Daniel

He walked into the room
I instantly fell for him
We had class together daily
I began hating him
We were a couple in a skit
I was torn and confused
He left for home in Mexico
I miss him like crazy

© July 8, 2010


Move On

Dwelling in the past does nothing for us
We can't go back in time, we can't change
What has already been said and done
Obsessing to resurrect any sliver
Of interest he might have had in you
Won't repair the damage you've done
Second chances are rare and sparce
They can be a lifesaver at times
But when extremes were taken in life
There is no hope for a damn redo
Sometimes all we can do is move on
Sometimes it's a gental suggestion:
"Oh, honey, you should move on"
This time, it's a too-real demand:
"Stop obsessing and move on"

© September 23, 2013


My Only Wish

For Ethan

Not talking to you will be
The hardest thing for me
I need to hear your laugh
For it sets my smile free
I'm pretty sure I love you
There's nothing I won't do
To prove to you my love
How sincerely it is true
If only you felt the same
But of course I'm to blame
I just get too mad
My anger, I need to tame
Maybe I can handle this
To get from you a kiss
And of course a future
That is my only wish

© March 29, 2011


Never Had a Chance

For Lazar

You were like a dream, almost reality
Before you were fully real, you were gone

You took my heart, stole it with charm
Before you gave me yours, you were gone

You toyed with my heart, like a yo-yo
Before I learned the game, you were gone

You blamed me for leading you on
Before I could let you in, you were gone

You said love, forced me to say it too
Before I could believe it, you were gone

You told me to push you out, so I did
Before I realized my mistake, you were gone

© November 4, 2013


Nightmare

For Ethan

I've tried so hard just to forget you
I hate you so much, with every bit of my soul
What ever happened to that sweet amazing guy
I'd do anything in my power to reverse
You were once the best thing in my life
Now you're a memory, haunting my smile
Whenever I'm happy, you come into view
You effortlessly crush every one of my dreams
And the worst part is, the part that hurts most
Is that you don't even try, you could care less
The only cure to this nightmare that's you
Is something I can't do when you're on my mind

© October 6, 2011


No Third Time, Please

For Ethan

Semester one was hard on me
I fell too fast, not once, but twice
Winter break helped me realize
Nothing was what it seemed
But upon return, everything changed
Just one look, and I fell back there
I fell for the one again, harder than before
Only to fall too hard for a third one
Both pulled my life into hell
Further than I'd ever been
Only when summer finally came
Did I finally find my way out
But now, thinking about semester three
I'm worried... And thinking about that one
I fell for him twice already
I hope the third time's not the charm

© August 8, 2011


Not Knowing

For Ethan

He says we're just friends
He says I'm the one that said it
I don't know if I like him that way
But I don't know if he does either
What I don't like
Is not knowing

© February 3, 2011


One, Two, Three...

For Vic, Ethan, and Ben

One...
  Cuteness
  Closeness
  Pain
  Mistakes
  Guilt
  Forgiveness
  Done

Two...
  Rebound
  Anger
  Pain
  Interest
  Rejection
  Hatred
  Done

Three...
  Attraction
  Sweetness
  Flirtation
  Hope
  Possibility?

© February 28, 2011


Only in My Dreams

I look into your eyes, and you into mine.
When we are together, I am perfectly fine.
You pull me into your arms, and then I knew
There's not a thing anyone could ever do
To ruin the love that we shared, a mutual feeling.
Everything about you, I find appealing.
You'll always be there for me, this I know.
No matter where my head's hung, high or low.
We are always together, every minute, hour, day.
We are so in love, and this way we'll stay.
You'll say 'I do' and I'll be your spouse,
We'll have kids and live in a nice house.
When this happens, we'll be of course, older,
But it has to happen, for the days couldn't be colder
When I'm not with my love.
I thank the good Lord above
For pairing me with a wonderful guy,
And without you, I'd rather die.
With me in your arms, you whisper in my ear
The three wonderful words I love to hear,
But when I open my eyes to look at you,
I awake alone, and the dream is through.

© 2009


Our Wants

For Lazar

I wanted to tell you that I love you
That I'd give anything to keep you
That you're the reason my heart beats

I wanted to ask you if you could wait
If you'd miss me if we never talked again
If you'd never give up on me or leave

I wanted to show you how much I care
How much you really mean to me
How much I miss you when we're apart

But you don't care about what I want
You only care about your needs
And I can't take that anymore

© October 27, 2012


Please...

For Ethan

So many things I want to
            say
To you, but the words
            that
I want, I can't find. Regardless,
            you
Wouldn't listen. But please, I
            need
To say these words to you.
            Me,
My whole being, depends on it,
            like
Infants depend on their mothers.
            I
Will go crazy if the words I
            need
To say remain unsaid. Please,
            you,
Give me a chance.

© April 12, 2011


Pride or Desire

A batch of cookies, each decorated in one of three ways
But there's a special one, decorated with a frosting tiara
The cookie to be the prize of a contest at the bake sale
Mommy offers me a cookie, but I tell her
"I want that one with the tiara"
She says no, that I can have any other cookie I want
But I tell her that one is specialest
She says she can decorate another just like it for me
But I tell her it won't be the same, it's not that cookie
I fight and I cry, begging for that one cookie
Nothing else can compare; it's the only cookie I want
After so many tears, she finally gives in, hands me the cookie
I almost deny it in a fit of childish rage
She doesn't want to give it to me, so I don't really want it
But it's that one cookie that I wanted so bad...

© October 11, 2013


The Something

For Vic

I love him, with every bit of my heart
He says that he likes me a lot, but how much?
He doesn't want a relationship, not for six months
He's graduating in the spring, so he sees no point
But I, on the other hand, see plenty of reasons why
Why we should try, to see if it's just a crush
Or if this could be something more
The something I feel swelling in my heart

© November 28, 2010


Steps to You

For Ethan

Years, reluctance.
Doctors tried to
force me; I didn't
want to; I refused.
    But what is this?
    For you, I will?
    Hoping you'll see?
    Is this all in vain?
        I've all the proof
        I could possibly
        need to prove my
        love, only for you.
            I'm proud of me;
            I actually did it:
            pushed myself and
            did something to
                try and change a
                thing about me that
                I just don't like.
                All this, to gain
                    your admiration and
                    your love. Please,
                    see that I mean it.
                    Tell me you feel it
                        as much as I do...
                        I've taken the first
                        step to you. Will you,
                        do you, can you care?

© March 29, 2011


Stop

For Ben

Comments
    Actions
Feelings
    Obvious
All of this
    Piss me off
I can't
    Take this
Going
    To go
Completely
    Insane
Don't know
    What to
Do now
    But this
Needs to
    Stop

© April 1, 2011


A Taste of Love

For Lazar

I found love somewhere I wasn't looking
At the one time I was content with myself
You took me by surprise and my breath away
Storming through my defenses, all my walls
Leaving me completely vulnerable and scared
You opened your arms, offered protection
What could I do but fall for your sweet talking
I knew your plan the entire time; we all did
But I looked past it, begged for it to change
Not sure how you really felt, if it was true
On my end, at least, I knew it was real
Despite all the arguments, tears, and pain
You had created a false sense of security
I felt like I was half of something bigger
One half of the love that I thought we shared
I knew it was never true, but it still felt nice
Maybe like a placeholder for the real thing
You shattered me into a million little pieces
I let you, even though I knew it was all a lie
Real heartbreak can't come from fake love
And I put myself back together rather quickly
Only to run back to you for a second chance
Still knowing that it would end the same way
But hoping there was a small possibility
For a brief moment, you gave me a taste of hope
When it proved to be a lie, I wasn't surprised
I've given up on any chance of you and me
After a taste of unreal and unconditional love
I'm yearning for experience with the real thing

© October 28, 2012


Time

For Ethan

You, over there, so far away
I miss you, love you, need you
But distance is good, they say
Do you think of us as I do?
Just a simple hello in the halls
That's all you'll hear from me
My feelings, love, nothing falls
When the time is right, we'll see
If my love for you has held true
And my confidence is built enough
Then I'll finally hear "I love you"
It'll be worth it, no matter how rough

© March 28, 2011


Too Much

For Ethan

If there's one thing I know for sure
It's that I think about you too much
All day, all night, alone, with friends
You, Ethan, are on my mind too much
Maybe I don't know what this means
There's a lot I don't know, too much
Maybe I'm just sick, delusional, stupid
But I think I love you, of course too much
Things between us could probably work
But I have a habit of yelling at you too much
I'm trying to work on this, and much more
To be with you, I'm willing to give up too much

© March 28, 2011


True Love

It flutters in the heart
Moves down the body
Butterflies in the stomach
Highlighting the pit
It ends with a drop
The heart afloat no more
Where butterflies once were
The heart now sits, alone

© September 30, 2013


Unknown

For Ethan

Sights
Touches
Feelings?
Emptiness
Anger
Screams
Confusion
Distraction
Ignorance
Hatred?
Lust
Interest
Love
Hope?
Heartbreak?
Unknown

© March 23, 2011


A Weak Confession

For Lazar

You've changed the way I look at everything
One simple word can take me into memories
Push me so far away from reality, I'm lost
I was done, finished, over, through
But deep down, I miss you like crazy
No one compares to you, no one comes close
I would do anything to get you back
Tears have been threatening my eyes
At every little reminder that we happened
Most days I'm fine, happy, content, healed
But once in a while, there's a moment of weakness
A moment when I regret telling you goodbye
When I really just need to hear your words
Did either of us really try? Was it meant to be?
If it is, I can't wait anymore for it to happen
Otherwise, I wish you would leave my mind

© December 6, 2012


What Should I Do?

For Vic

Get out of my head, stay out of my dreams
I guess I'm not over you, or so it seems
You turned me away, couldn't be clearer
But each dream makes me wish you were nearer
Why can't I just push you out of my life
I would cut you out, but I can't find a knife
Perhaps I want you in my life, as a friend
But I'm just worried, I don't want a trend
We, you and me, are at an okay point now
I don't want that to happen again somehow
But I don't know what to do, not at all
Maybe, between us, I should just build a wall
Something to keep you fully out of my head
Or do I just let us become friends again instead?

© March 6, 2011


Worth It?

For Ethan

Not being able to talk to you?
Not being able to hear your voice?
Impossible, cannot be done
I love you, need you
I'll miss you far too much
But maybe the distance will be
Exactly what we need
To realize what is true
Love? Friendship? Nothing?
Whatever it is, hopefully
It'll be worth the wait

© March 28, 2011


You Walked Away

For Ethan

You're standing just over there
Just talking, casually, to others
And I'm sitting over here
Wishing, praying, begging for you
To just walk over, say a hello

You actually talk to me! Amazing!
But you address me as Shovel
So abnormal, distant, impersonal
Sure, plenty address me as such
But not usually you, 'cept now

Simple words exchanged, then
You're gone, nothing more
Just talking to you, for a second
Brightened my day, it did
But it dims again, the moment
You walked away

© April 1, 2011