For My Friends

Poems written specifically for my friends

30

As You

For Sandra

College is scary
Full of unknown
Knowing no one
Somehow, we met
Something clicked
Yes, a friendship
One everlasting
Thankful, I am
To have a friend
As colorful
As supportive
As loveable
As you

© March 31, 2011


Contain the Laughter

For Katie and Sandra

Contain the laughter
Or they might judge
We're supposed to be
Adults in college
But our inside jokes
Bring too much fun
And really, we can't
Contain the laughter

© March 31, 2011


Don't Do It

For Katie

A mention of the word stops my heart
Lemme tell you about this little part
In my worthless life, that you play
You're my best friend, in every way
In this damn world, I need you here
Without you, I'd be nothing, I fear
We might have lost connection for a bit
But I think we're stronger 'cause of it
We can handle anything and everything
Whatever we choose and what it may bring
But at the mention of that damn word...
Damn it, my friend, I will be heard!
You're worth a lot more than you know
Open your eyes, and this I will show
I love you, need you, want you as a sis
If you go, both of us the world will miss

© March 29, 2011


Don't Stop

For Sammy

Safe in my heart you'll always be
As my best friend... No, more like
My unrelated sister; on bad days,
My savior, when I need to laugh.
You're an amazing part of my life,
Really. Please, don't ever stop.

© April 11, 2011


Don't Want to Lose Any More

For all my friends at the time, and Nick

As a child, I had a best friend, we were inseparable
I loved him with all my heart, but only as a brother
We grew up together since kindergarten
We played games, rode bikes, played ball, swam, shared secrets
We were always there for each other, helped in times of need
We argued, fought, ignored, walked away angry, but always made up
How could a friendship this strong have disappeared overnight?
I swore to myself, as a child, that I'd never lose him
I'd call him every day, I'd visit him every possible time
I'd always be his very best friend, and he'd be mine
It was a promise, something I thought I'd live by
Something that held back both of our tears when we swore it
But when I moved, things changed; I broke my promise; I lost him

As a senior in high school, I have my best friends
I love them from the bottom of my heart, as my sisters
I need them, they're there for me, they need me, I'm there for them
We share our worlds with each other, we pour our hearts into each other
We laugh at, laugh with, pick on, and love each other
We argue, we fight, we ignore, we gossip, we hate, but in the end, we make up
They're my world, and I'm part of their worlds, I'll never forget them
I'm making a promise, as a graduating senior, that I'll never lose them
I'll call them every week, IM them every day, text them every hour
I'll visit on Homecoming, every holiday, every birthday, every vacation
I'll never lose them, I'll never forget them, and they'll be my friends forever
I'm making this promise, I swear by it, and I'll live by it... or so I hope

As a child, I tried making this promise once, I tried to live by this
But obviously, as my heart tells me every moment, I lied to both of us
I've lost him, lost every strand of friendship I wove into us
I broke that part of my heart, I've destroyed the connection I had with childhood
What I've done to him, I'll never know
What I'll do to my friends now, I'll never know
I'll lose them, I'll never forget them, but I'll never know them again like I do now
I'll destroy any connection to this part of my life, I'll break this part of my heart
I don't want to believe this'll happen, but how can I make this promise
When already, once, I broke it?
I'm doomed as a 'Best Friend Forever'
It's just not something my mind can handle, apparently
And for this, I am sorry to all I may hurt in the process

© December 30, 2009


Grocery Shopping

For Gigi

Grocery shopping has never been so fun!
Took a friend
Got two posters
Inhaled some candles
Ate a pretzel and fries
Checked out guys
Beat each other up
Played dumb games
I think I shall do this every week now.

© July 10, 2010


How So?

Partially for Rin

Apparently everything happens for a reason.
If so, then there are times when maybe
I'd rather not know the reasons.
Death happens, but what reason is good enough?
Did fate just not want the world to include that person?
Or did God just think that the people who loved that person
Should be punished by having to live without him?
No good reason behind death.

Apparently change is good.
But what if it was perfectly fine before?
Why change what needs not to be?
If a great friend was find just the way she was,
Why is it good that she changed into a bad one?
What reason was there for that, too?
Did great and wonderful fate have something against
The people who had this person as a great friend,
And found the need to ruin that great friend?

Everything happens for a reason.
When something happens, it changes.
Change is good.
So things happen for the better, right?
A ruined best friend and death
Happened for a reason, and, according to this,
Changed for the good.
How so?

© 2008-2009


How to Tell

For Hanna and Rin

How do you tell someone
Something they don't wanna hear
But something they need to?

What if you can't let her go
Even if she's ruining her life
Just to be in yours?

What if you're ruining your life
To keep from hurting a friend
You can't stand anymore?

How to you tell yourself
Something you don't wanna hear
But something you need to?

© November 2011


It's a Cycle

For Nick

My life has become a cycle
It started after I moved
The first couple years,
They were easy, just fine
It was when I grew up
That the pain settled
It starts with a dream,
One of us meeting again,
One of us laughing again
And when I wake, it hurts
I come to the realization
That it'll never happen
Not now, it's been too long
Then, for a week, I mope
I get depressed, wishing
That I could talk to him
Just once more, a conversation
But I try to call, email, visit
But something goes wrong
He's not home to pick up the phone
He changed email addresses
He moved and I don't know where to
I wonder if he knows how much it hurts
How much I just want to see him again
I miss the brother of my childhood
And after this whole pain goes away
About a week after the dream
I'm fine, but just for a few months
I have another dream, and it gets worse

© May 25, 2010


Keep in Touch

For all my friends from high school

Don't let the last day of school
Be the last day of chilling with friends
Keep in touch with them
They are your friends, aren't they?

© June 14, 2010


A Lifetime

For Sammy

You're always my friend
No matter where we are
We've been through a lot
And we're too close
So I'll never let you out
Of that spot in my heart
Forever's a short time
In comparison to how long
You and I will be friends
It started in forty minutes
It turned into a lifetime

© April 11, 2011


My Best Friend

For Caitlin

We don't talk every day
But we don't need to
She's my best friend
And nothing'll change that

© July 2, 2010


My Friends

For my friends

My friends...
Silly, stupid, sexy, simple
Crazy, creative, charming, cute
Magical, memorable, mischievous, manic
Cool, caring, childish, comical
Special, super, sarcastic, sincere
Kind, kinky, keen, kooky
And I love them all

© March 31, 2011


Never Forget, You

For all my friends

People come, people go
We all change, in some way
But something that won't
Is my love for all you

The ones from middle school
That was pure hell and pain
You... took me into your group
Gave me needed acceptance

The ones from high school
That wasn't any better
You... made the bus one of
My absolute favorite places
You... made one boring class
The absolute best four years
You... were there for me when
The world turned its back

The ones from college
This is the best time
You... gave me life, hope
Confidence I never had

Three different times of my life,
Groups of friends, places in my heart
Each place just as important to me
No matter who I meet and befriend
Each of you have your own place
Only for you, never to be replaced
Never forget this... I sure won't

© March 31, 2011


Nothing is a Mistake

For my friends

Never wanted to leave Connecticut
Moving to New York gave me a best friend

Never wanted to take the middle school bus
Sticking it out gave me a best friend

Never wanted to take Latin in eighth grade
Starting French late gave me a best friend

Never should have started at Herkimer
Being undecided gave me a best friend

Never should have taken Psych first semester
Staying an extra semester gave me a best friend

© November 4, 2013


Nothing's Better

For McKayla and Gigi

After being through hell and back
There's nothing better than a friend
Even if you look like shit
They'll be there for you 'til the end

© June 9, 2010


Nothing's Worth It

For all my friends

Life can be shit
People can be rude
Medical complications
Can screw you up
If given the chance
I'd be tempted
To go back in time
And change myself
For a normal life
But after thinking
About my life
I have realized
There's always been
One specific thing
That's made my life
Worth the suffering
Because that one thing
Takes the suffering away
So if really given
An opportunity
To travel in time
And fix my hell
I'd keep everything
Exactly the same
Nothing is worth
Losing the people
I'm lucky to call
My best friends

© October 29, 2012


Our Group

For those mentioned

It started as mocking my name: Shovel
We had to add a spork, naturally
And, of course, a rake
But we don't stop there!
Next, the fork, then spoon, then knife
Are we done? Not even close.
What's a shovel without a pail?
And we need a spade, we do
And last, but not least, the straw
It started as mocking
It turned into our group

© March 31, 2011


A Realization

For Hanna

A roller coaster of emotions
Tearing through my mind
Never really knew
That you mean the world to me
I'd do anything to keep you
I know I mean so much to you
But I don't think you realize
Just how much you mean to me
In almost losing you, it clicked
You do so much for me
And yet I won't do things for you
So now, there's not a thing
That I wouldn't do for you
I'll make more time, break more rules
I will prove that I love you
And I'm sorry for your pain

© September 28, 2012


Sometimes

For a friend

Sometimes I wish I could just fall off the face of the earth
Instead of facing the things that cause me stress
Sometimes I wish I could just scream and yell in her face
Just to make me feel a little better about it
Sometimes I wish I could just pretend everything's fine
So that I can keep the friendship I have forever

© July 26, 2010


SORRY

For Rin

So, forgive me here if I am wrong, but it seems as if you are mad at me. Did I do something to hurt you?
Or is it something that I didn't do that creates pain in your heart? I didn't know I was doing this to you.
Remember that I will always listen to you, that anger will never change that.
Remember I am always here for you to take whatever you can dish out to me.
You will still me my friend after it all; whether or not I am yours is what worries me.

© 2005-2008


Technology

For Rin

What happened to you?
You weren't always this way.
You used to be a great friend.
You changed.

Something changed in your mind.
Do you even realize this?
The evils of the Internet,
Changed you.

We all noticed the difference.
All the great friends you once had, left.
Gone when you downloaded a different life,
Changing you.

We tried to stop the transformation,
From thoughtful to mindless.
You hated us for caring about,
You changing.

What happened to you?
We all miss what you were.
We hate what you've become.
Could we delete the terminal virus,
And reinstall the old you?

© 2005-2008


They're Wrong

For Jess

They tell you you're not good enough
But you're better than anyone
They call you a wimp
But you're stronger than steel
You have no idea how wrong they are
Or how much you mean to the world
You're strong, amazing, kind
Determined, caring, and, of course
One of the best friends
I will ever have the privilege
Of getting to know

© September 28, 2012


True for Me

For Sammy and McKayla

Okay, tell me, what's going on?
Why do I feel like I've lost you?
Things between us are different
At least, that's how I see it
I'm not sure if you're too busy
Or I've done something stupid
But please, let me make it up to you
You've been a staple in my life
You've been the sun on dark days
I would do anything for you
You make me smile and laugh
Even when I don't want to be alive
Maybe this sounds selfish
Perhaps that's why you're distant
But just keep in mind that you
Mean more to me than anything
No matter what happens between us
That will always remain true for me

© September 23, 2013


Tu Es Mon Amie, Toujours You're My Friend, Forever

For Sammy

It started with a common class
It turned into a lasting bond
No matter who I'm friends with
They will never come first
No matter who I meet out there
I will always remember you
The times we've had...
I would never, could never,
Replace you, my best friend

© July 7, 2010


Undoubtedly

For Cenza

Gifted with insightfulness
You can make a bad day good
         effortlessly
You are filled with kindness
Your large heart is golden
         absolutely
There's not a thing about you
That anyone can label bad
         sincerely
You're amazing, I love you
You're one of my best friends
         undoubtedly

© April 11, 2011


What Do I Do?

For a friend

It starts with annoyance
Then it turns to anger
Sometimes, hatred
But then, pain
And certainly stress
Possibly fear
Then, to finish it,
Confusion

© July 26, 2010


What to Do

For a friend

I hate most of what she does anymore
I just can't figure out why she does it
Sometimes, I just hate her for it all
But then I feel bad for hating her
And it just stresses me out
And I fear losing my friend
But it simply comes down to
I don't know what to do

© July 26, 2010


Write it All

For a friend

I never knew how stressful this monster was
This dark, monstrous cloud hanging over me
I was blind and oblivious in the friendship
But now, with direction from others, I can see

I thought that maybe, if I just pushed it all aside
If I just brushed everything off and let it all go
That maybe things would stay the same
Or at least, not get worse, but now I know

There is simply one thing left for me to do
If I can force myself, I'll write her a letter
Relieve the stress, unburden my mind
I'll write it all till I feel even a little better

© August 8, 2010


A Year of Latin

For Sammy

I don't know what happened
It was just a little choice in life
To take a year of Latin first
But it has made all the difference
I've always wanted that one
Special friend that I'll have
No matter where we may go
And I just realized that...
I've had this friend, right here
Since tenth grade, because
Of a simply choice to take
A year of Latin in grade eight

© August 30, 2010